Hump Day funnies

Discussion in 'The Loafing Shed' started by equusteacher, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. equusteacher

    equusteacher New Member

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    Eight Words with two Meanings
    >
    >
    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
    Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to
    another.
    Male..... Playing football without a cup.

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .
    Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
    Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip
    with the boys.

    4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
    Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.
    Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female. A good movie, concert, play or book.
    Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
    Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
    Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male
    > bonding.

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
    Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
    Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
    Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
    minutes.

    AND....
    He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    She said . . You wear pants don't you?

    He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said That's a
    good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

    He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery
    money I gave you? She said .....Turn sideways and look in
    the mirror!

    He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She
    said . We don't know; it has never happened.

    He said .. Why are married women heavier than single women?
    She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the
    fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see
    what's in bed and go to the fridge.

    O0