I am officially a GodMother

Discussion in 'The Loafing Shed' started by Ponythief, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. Ponythief

    Ponythief New Member

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    To a 16 year old troubled teenage girl.

    For the past 2 weeks my life and family have been on a rollercoaster ride. Lots of ups and downs.

    For those of you that remember last fall I took in a teenager, things didn't work out and she went home. Long story short, in Dec she became a ward of the state. 2 weeks ago she called and begged and pleaded for my help as she was being sent to a girls home, no foster homes wanted her :'(

    She tore my heart apart, I contacted dcfs. After jumping through hoops of fire the caseworker found a way for her to be placed immediately with us. I was appointed "Godmother" by the state of Illinois. Hubby and I start foster parent classes next Saturday and will have them every Saturday for 9 weeks so that we can get our Foster Care Lic.

    She is defiant, lies, has a raw attitude and hates me right now. She has no privileges, no cell phone, no internet until she has earned them, oh and she had to remove all her piercings. But tonight she laughed with us as a family and is still watching T.V. with son and hubby as I type. She has been here since Wed. night with more set backs than steps forward. I keep telling myself I am strong, I say my prayers for strength and guidance.

    I have missed being on here (MWH) everyday. Hopefully things will settle down now abit.

    BTW any prayers you can send to my little Goddaughter would greatly be welcomed.

    Thanks Everyone{{hugs & :-*}}}

    Deb

    P.S. to BUC: Being Godmother to BoBo is much easier :)
     
  2. Sarah315

    Sarah315 New Member

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    I think you are doing a wonderful thing! Stay strong.

    I think horse people are better with problem kids than the general public. We already know how to be the Alpha Mare. When the herd tests us we can put them in their place in one moment and still have unconditional love in the next.
     

  3. HALL FARMS

    HALL FARMS Insert Title Here

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    Prayer for being said.
     
  4. Tbitt

    Tbitt Most beloved member of MW

    Deb, you already know we are pulling for you .........and her!

    I just hopw she realizes this time, what is truly at stake here!

    No matter how this turns out - you will have an impact on her. even if she doesn't realize ot for years. But one day the lightbulb will come on and she will realize it!


    Good Luck!
     
  5. burgie

    burgie New Member

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    Wow.
    A big pat on the back for you.
    She is very much like the kids I work with. If I can offer any help/advice/support, please let me know.
    All the best to you!
     
  6. Mass

    Mass Senior Member and Masscaster

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    Good for you, for giving this girl another chance. I hope she uses this one wisely.
     
  7. Buffy

    Buffy New Member

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    I remember your posts from when she was with you the first time.

    You can do it! Just don't beat yourself up over the setbacks. :)
     
  8. Ponythief

    Ponythief New Member

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    I may just take you up on that. :)

    She has or only knows a love/hate relationship. First she hates me than she's back to laughing with me. She tries hard to disagree with me. Little things. No big fighting with me, only time was when the piercings had to come out. She refused, we talked about 40 minutes and then I took a 10 minute "time-out" for ME, re approached her with a "tough Love" attitude and 2 pairs of tweezers and a bottle of Hydro. Peroxide then she realized I wasn't budging, the piercings are comin' out one way or another.

    Hopefully next week we start with counseling, all of us at first, than just her. Periodically with us. I really think she needs to be on some form of meds because her mood swings are horrible. And she seems depressed alot.

    Today was a good day. She spent it with us as a family. We had a family gathering for lunch in Springfield than went shopping for paint and supplies for her room.

    I am stronger this time, as I have support from DCFS as where last time her Aunt completely shut me out, only wanted me to take her but with no support or power to make decisions. And last time she came in with full privileges, this time she has to earn any extra activities with a time frame of nothing for 6 weeks to 6 months. It's up to her.


    I see myself in her alot when I was at her age. >:D ;D

    Thanks for the support!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-*
     
  9. morapt

    morapt New Member

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    Prayers for your new extended family. I remember the posts from the last time she was with you. I agree that no matter what, she will always remember this in her life and will someday appreciate someone standing up for her. It takes a big heart to be open to a troubled child.
     
  10. JenR

    JenR Formerly Underworld Queen

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    Hang strong Pony; if anyone can do this it's you. I'm pulling for both of you.
     
  11. Refuge Ranch

    Refuge Ranch New Member

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    Deb!

    Huge props to you!! I know how hard it is. My husband and I have been involved with working with at risk kids for nearly 10 years now. For five years we lived and worked in inner city Chicago, and we currently have one of the girls we worked with there (she is now 19) and her 2 year old son living with us while she tries to get her life straightened out. She has been here since November and there have been countless occasions where I thought we will not make it through this.

    The challenges to helping these kids get from where they are to responsible, functioning adulthood are staggering. Please know you can call me or email ANY time for help, or even just support and encouragement and a place to vent. This might sound odd, but one thing that has helped me is relating it to horse training.

    You have to set good boundaries, and not take anything personal. I do my best to keep emotions out of it because she has so much emotional baggage and things just deteriorate when I don't do a good job containing my own emotions. The huge fireworks always come when she has made a choice that violates one of the boundaries we have set. I am praying for you. Hang in there!! THis is probably the most challenging thing you have ever done, but will probably also be one of the most rewarding. It makes my heart joyful to hear of someone fighting for this girl!!

    Chris
     
  12. kats

    kats New Member

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    Prayers being sent to you and your extended family.
     
  13. Ponythief

    Ponythief New Member

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    Just a quick update, things are going GREAT!

    We are on our 6th day with no defiance, no attitude, no rule breaking. She is getting involved with sports(soccer) at school. something she was never allowed to do before. She is working hard on her daily academics. She has lots of catching up to do and still may have to take a few classes over the summer. She knows this and I really think she feels bad about how things affected her schooling but at the same time she has accepted what she needs to do to get caught back up.

    She has earned a few privileges out with (approved) friends. And has completed every chore given with a positive attitude.

    I know we are still going to have ups and downs. And she will always need a closer eye kept on her but I can do that :)

    I found out Thurs. that since I have been appointed her "God Mother" I do not have to take the 9 wk course in Foster Parenting :th_woohoo: I just have to complete a few hours watching training videos in my own home. :) :)

    Hopefully in the next week we will have her bedroom completed. We have been painting(she picked out her colors) and now looking for furniture and installing one of those really cool closet organizers. This girl has sooooooo many clothes. I think by having her help and pick out things gives her the feeling of acceptance and a home environment.

    Thank you to all for the encouraging words and support!
     
  14. asuits

    asuits New Member

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    Props to you! It sounds like you're on the right path!
     
  15. Buffy

    Buffy New Member

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    Good for you and GREAT for her! What wonderful news.