My husband, the jackass!

Discussion in 'The Loafing Shed' started by asuits, Jan 20, 2009.

  1. asuits

    asuits New Member

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    My husband is in the dog house right now for napping. I'm so pissed at him. I'm on our vacation bible school comittee. I had to go into town to pick our program for this summer's VBS. I told hubby I was doing that and then going to the grocery store after that (he'd known this for a week). I reminded him on Friday night and then reminded him as I was leaving on Saturday. No problem. I checked all the sales ads on Friday so that I knew what I was shopping for. I made my grocery list.

    He calls me while I'm at the VBS meeting and asks when I'll be done. I tell him that I still have another 20 minutes of the meeting and I'll call him when I'm on the way to the grocery store.

    I call him while I'm on the way to the store. He says maybe you should come home and we can work on the house before you go to the store. NO! I just spent 2 hours making my grocery list. I don't have kids. I'm going to the store. I'll be home when I get home.

    I get home from the grocery store and bring in all the groceries and put them all away while he's sitting on the couch. I then make lunch for everyone. It's now 1:45pm. We sit down to eat lunch and he springs on me. You know, the house is a mess. We need to work on it this weekend. I want to get all 3 floors organized. I look at him, roll my eyes and say I realize the house is a mess. The house is a mess because I work full time, I come home, I make dinner, I clean up the kitchen, I give the kids a bath, I put the kids to bed, I work out for an hour and then I go to bed. I've been helping my mom out since she has the broken arm and I've been sick for the past month. I want to take a nap because I don't feel good. We have the pull to go to tonight. When are we supposed to get it done? He says we can do it tomorrow (Sunday).

    Anyway, we go to the pull on Saturday night then we go to church on Sunday. He comes home and immediately lies down on the couch and starts to watch a movie. He proceeds to do that and sleep on and off all day. Sunday night at 7:30 he comes in and says you know, we didn't get anything done this weekend that I requested we do. I think we both need to take Monday off and work around the house. Forget the fact that I'm sick, that I need to go to work, etc., fine....we'll both take Monday off. So we took Monday off to work around the house and he did alot of sitting on his ass while I worked. I then found out that the other assistant in the office went home sick and my boss was there all by herself.

    Jackass!
     
  2. Buffy

    Buffy New Member

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    Gawd, do I feel your pain!!! :slapfight:
    My husband makes sure to mention all the time what a mess the house is, but does he lift a frakkin FINGER? No, so I lift two of MINE! :th_flipoff:
     

  3. Mass

    Mass Senior Member and Masscaster

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    Reason number 150 why I will not remarry. ;)
     
  4. snaffle

    snaffle Guest

    Sounds like you need to do some training..

    or whomp him upside the head.

    I wish I had made my husband do his own laundry and cook his own meals during those earlier years when I was a slave.
     
  5. Buffy

    Buffy New Member

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    I should edit what I said earlier...
    My husband won't help with housework, but he DOES things around the house. Fixes things here and there. But is it REALLY that difficult to help fold some laundry or do a load of dishes? ::)
     
  6. tater883

    tater883 New Member

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    All men need a safety nape its a man law
     
  7. AppyGSP

    AppyGSP Senior Member

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    OK, even MY jackass does dishes and his own laundry... But he never ever finishes a project....everything is done half-assed.
     
  8. snaffle

    snaffle Guest

    Buffy...
    when I look back on the first 13 years of our marriage I often wonder how I did it.
    My husband recently told me he didnt realize how difficult he made life for me.

    I was raising three little kids...
    ( he NEVER did anything to help with them)

    on Sunday morning before mass.. he felt that HE should be able to get showered and cleaned up AFTER all 3 little kids.. which meant I had to get them up extra early so they could all get ready for church..

    I took care of all the animals.. horses.. dogs.. whatever..
    I didnt care because I loved having them, but I also had to
    do the building and repair of any fences, buildings...

    repairs in the house.. outside the house..
    do the budgeting.. pay the bills..
    worry about the bills..
    clean all the vehicles..
    mow the yard..
    do ALL the gardening... canning.. freezing..
    any and all work at home was MY job
    and there was a lot of it.

    yep.. it would have helped me out a lot if I would have made him do his own laundry..
    and fix his own meals. He still doesnt always know that dirty dishes go in the sink or in the dishwasher.. but he is getting better about it.

    He would never put any clothes in a hamper, they were either piled in the bedroom next to his side of the bed..or anywhere else he wanted to toss them.
    sock inside out.. undershirts and underwear .. inside out..
    after a couple years .. I finally got smart and washed and folded them exactly the way they were taken off ;)
     
  9. sandburs

    sandburs New Member

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    OMG Snaffle, I am you now!! LOL. Sounds like the perfect description of my life. It is encouraging that maybe some day he will realize just how much is done for him and appreciate it. Ahhhhhh, wishful thinking.......
     
  10. equusteacher

    equusteacher New Member

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    I'm sorry you feel he's a jackass, but WHY do you put up with it?

    If the "plan" was to get shit done on Sunday after church, then the minute his ass hit that sofa you should have jumped all over him. Do not let him "rest". He'd damn well should be doing the shit he's been bitching about!

    I can not believe you'd let him talk you into taking a day off of your job to do shit that should have been done Sunday. Then you allow him to be lazy and sit around and do nothing while you slave away?
    Total bullshit.
    But, you can not blame him alone. You are allowing this behaviour to continue so have to accept some responsibility.

    I'd seriously lay the rules down with him, write them up, post them somewhere visable and then let him have it when he breaks it.
     
  11. Buffy

    Buffy New Member

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    Hmmmmm..... [insert evil laugh here] >:D :laugh:

    Like I said, he does all the hard stuff around here, but it in NO WAY equals the amount of housework that needs done. :mad:
     
  12. snaffle

    snaffle Guest

    sandburs do not give up!! Some of these men were spoiled by their mommies..
    and were raised.. and act just like their fathers. If their father didnt help out at home.. they won't either..
    until you 'train' them ;)

    It takes a lot of tears.. begging.. nagging.. screaming.. and talking it out.

    What did it for my husband.. was one day after we had been married for 13 years.. he came in the house complaining that the 2 boys never helped him do anything in his shop... working on cars etc.

    My reply to him was:
    They are doing what you have taught them. They have seen what you do around here for years and are just following your lead.

    That was it!! A light bulb went off in his head and he finally got it!

    equusteacher had a great suggestion.. to lay down the rules.. write them out.. and then .. make sure both of you follow them

    some men feel that their wife is their mommy..
     
  13. lori

    lori New Member

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    See, I am a girl, raised by a dad who did most of the housework, who also worked at home and contributed financially at least equally as my mom who worked outside the house.

    THEREFORE, men must:
    1. work. (*although they are permitted to chase their dream job while I support them, because it worked for my parents.)
    2. clean cars, including the inside where I throw my straw wrappers and lose french fries (OK, french fries fall under the dog's jurisdiction), and wash them in the dead of winter
    3. clean house (shared)
    4. do all yard work which includes not scoffing if I decide I have time to take care of a gigantic garden, even if I don't
    5. do laundry (shared)
    6. raise children and be the patient one (partially shared)

    Needless to say, I'm still single. ;D
     
  14. Shadow

    Shadow New Member

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    What I have learned in my marriage:

    whether it is the beginning...
    middle.....
    or the end of a relationship with a man....

    bottom line is: THEY ARE ALL DICKS !!!
     
  15. funnypaint

    funnypaint New Member

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    I live with my BF, and we are much more like Lori's description. That's how my parents and his parents are as well (and both sets are married 25 years this past year).

    Men work, help clean the house (shared), clean the cars, shovel the snow (LOVING that one right now!), do the yard work (as long as it isn't flowers or veggies), and throw in loads of laundry.

    The women cook. Which I actually like, cause I cook whatever I want, and if he doesn't want to eat it he can stop at Subway on the way home. And I take care of the dog. ;) We even grocery shop together without arguing.
     
  16. AKPonygirl

    AKPonygirl New Member

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    I like naps...

    I don't, however, like napping jackasses...
     
  17. Margot7

    Margot7 New Member

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    I agree with this sentiment 100%!!!
     
  18. Mischiefsgirl

    Mischiefsgirl New Member

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    I'm totally with Equusteacher. Boy, the minute those buns hit the couch, I'd be all over him. :slapfight:

    You need to lay down the law. Someone needs to take charge of the situation.
     
  19. April

    April New Member

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    My hubby USED to be the same way. We had a come to JESUS talk and he has been saved. The deal is the more he does around the house the more I put out.
     
  20. Mischiefsgirl

    Mischiefsgirl New Member

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    Wow, April - pimping yourself out for some house chores. >:D