Obnoxious loudmouth goat

Discussion in 'The Loafing Shed' started by JenR, Feb 22, 2009.

  1. JenR

    JenR Formerly Underworld Queen

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    Ok all you goat experts. I've got a problem child goat, and she's beginning to piss me off.

    Tweak has always been the worst one of my four goats about being flighty and untouchable. She didn't stop shaking for three days after I got them, and she still won't let you touch her, handling her is a hazard and a hassle (plus she screams like you're killing her, always good for the neighbors to hear). We've tried bribing her with treats (won't eat them), regular food (will eat from your hand at feeding time, but that's as far as she'll let interaction go), sitting out there and talking to them and being super quiet and slow and gentle around them(helped with the other goats, but not her). And she goes nuts trying to get away from you when you go out to feed or clean up to the point of knocking over the other goats. She wasn't named Tweak for nothing :p

    Oh, and she beats the crap out of the other three -- which is making Nutmeg (the quiet, shy one) a nervous wreck. She beats the crap out of them at feeding time (doesn't matter than they're fed their chow seperately, as soon as Tweak sees the food coming she starts to rough up her half sisters), when they go in for the night, just for the hell of it throughout the day. She's even rotten with my dogs (the Pit Bull is terrified of her) -- our young dog has been rolled by her. Bitch! The only dog she won't challenge anymore is Violet, my female Border (V can bring the bitch right back at her). So as of now she's worthless as a training tool for any of the BCs.

    Now she's gotten into a new gig: every morning no later that 5 (but sometimes sooner) she starts yelling for breakfast. And then again at noon for lunch, and then again at 2:30 for dinner -- and hell, sometimes if she thinks she needs some more food and you step outside she starts up. Tweak is one loudmouthed broad too. All the other goats may bleat gently and politely, but this beoytch bellows (and of course, I'm sure the neighbors appreciate me for this -- you can hear her a block away). No, I'm not going to give in to feed on demand (they have free choice hay and forage all day anyway; she wants goat chow -- uhm, no).

    This is one obnoxious goat, and I'm at my wit's end with her (of course, she's the biggest and best looking of the lot as well and her mother was the best milker of my kids' moms) -- got any suggestions? Anyone want a bad, bitchy goat as a project? Mr. J is wondering what she'd dress out at as I type. Don't say I wasn't honest about her.

    My only consolation with her right now is 1) she is big for a pygmy and preeettty, so she might have nice kids that I can bottle raise; 2)as I tell her every time she's up to her crotchety, loud, bitchy self "Tweak, when you die, you will go to Goat Hell, and I will not feel sorry for you."
     
  2. Pixin

    Pixin New Member

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    Maybe Buc can invite her over for a Baaaaaaaaaaa-B-Q?
     

  3. Sarah315

    Sarah315 Active Member

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    She sounds like she was abused, or maybe brain damaged or missing a chomosome somewhere.
     
  4. Shell

    Shell New Member

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    Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment!

    I have no goat experience.

    If slaughter or going to auction isn't a good answer, how about seperating her from everyone else. Where she's totally by herself and can't see or hear anyone to bellow out to. Maybe being alone, she'll appreciate her company later.
    Can you train her on an alarm clock? When it goes off, she gets fed. I know that suggestion sounds weird. But she sounds smart.
    Maybe she needs stuff to to keep her mind busy?
    As a >:D idea, rope around her neck with a piece of firewood at the other end. Spook proof training.
     
  5. burgie

    burgie New Member

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    I read the title of the thread and wondered -
    Why is JenM posting a thread about herself under Creature Features. Strange..

    <ducking and running>
     
  6. Buffy

    Buffy New Member

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    :th_ohsnap1:

    :th_lol_hitting:
     
  7. Tbitt

    Tbitt Most beloved member of MW

    oh, Burgie - you are in troooubleeeee

    >:D
     
  8. burgie

    burgie New Member

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    MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
    I am on a roll!
     
  9. JenR

    JenR Formerly Underworld Queen

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    Oh no my delicate daffodil -- if it was about me it would be titled "Obnoxious Loudmouth Hell Bitch" or "Mean Mofo Moo-cow"; I'm a bit worse than a little old goatie goat. But I'll take it under advice to try harder at making sure there's no confusion;)

    I'm thinking Tweak may have to be the guest of honor at one of BUC's BBQs -- she's just such a wench and a half.

    And no, she has never been abused -- this goat has never been abused a day in her life (well, she might think she's "abused", but she's more of an abuser to the other goats imho).
     
  10. Castaway Farm

    Castaway Farm New Member

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    She sounds like the kind of goat I need to remind my neighbors there are worse things than dogs to have in the neighborhood. ;D
     
  11. susiebk

    susiebk New Member

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    Want my haffie to give her an "attitude adjustment"? >:D He hates LOVES goaties :angel:
     
  12. JenR

    JenR Formerly Underworld Queen

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    how 'bout we trade; your Haffie for mu rudeass beautiful goat >:D

    Castaway -- in case Susie backs out of the above deal, yours sounds like a great plan; when should I bring her over?
     
  13. mydanes

    mydanes New Member

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  14. HorseFarm

    HorseFarm New Member

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    Some of the neighbors are already aware of some of the goats and sheep in the area and have no problem calling on them, too. ;)
     
  15. Castaway Farm

    Castaway Farm New Member

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    But I can (legally) have all the noisy, obnoxious, smelly animals I want with my zoning...

    So I think they could learn quickly there are worse things than a couple of dogs... *<*>*
     
  16. pinp

    pinp New Member

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    I'll let you take Scarlet back with you for a little while... she's not loud, but she WILL put Tweak in her place. ;D
     
  17. JenR

    JenR Formerly Underworld Queen

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    Hey Pin, I thought the deal was I get a pup and you get the rude beautiful goat?

    Now I'm getting a goat :police: for a few weeks instead ??? :D
     
  18. pinp

    pinp New Member

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    hahaha you should have bought boers instead of pygmy goats. :nana:
     
  19. JenR

    JenR Formerly Underworld Queen

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    I don't think boers would exactly fit at my place -- literally :nana:
     
  20. pinp

    pinp New Member

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    haha maybeh... but they'd be quieter